Thou art the God who manifests joyfully smiling,
and beautiful beyond all imagining, abounding in all graces,
with horns to drive back every kind of misfortune, thy radiance
so powerful that it transforms a New Moon into a Full Moon;
so I praise thee, O Kind and Gentle One who desires thy devotees
to be always drunk and rapturously enjoying life, glorious lover
of the Goddess Peace, crowned with the flowers of a wet and mild
spring that lasts forever, gathered by the moss-haired Nymphs
who smile approvingly at the clever jests of the Satyrs who gambol
through the wooded coverts of Mount Nysa – thee I honor, O Prince
who roused the Granddaughter of the Sun when she was sunk deep
into a depressed slumber, and thou enticed her back to the land of the living
with kisses and visions of what she would become at thy tenderly cruel hands.
Thee I honor, O great God Dionysos, grandson of the Goddess Harmonia,
with fervent prayers and hymns which our forefathers sang,
thee I offer plentiful sacrifices to at all seasons, and thee I petition
for assistance so that I may be able to drive away bitter cowardice
from my head, and crush down the deceitful impulses of my soul.
Restrain also the keen fury of my heart which provokes me
to tread the ways of blood-curdling strife. Rather, O Blessed
and Beatific One, grant me boldness to abide within the harmless laws
of Peace, avoiding strife, and hatred, and the violent fiends of death.
Look with favor, O Lord of the laughter which banishes
quarrelsomeness and dejection, not just upon me, but upon all those
who are dear to me; and as for our enemies, may their brains be poured
on the ground just like this wine, so that they never again trouble us.

Nemo tagged me for the Sunshine thing that’s going around. I don’t normally participate in such endeavors, but I liked the questions he posted so here are my answers. Anyone who wants to participate, consider yourselves tagged. And if you have any questions of your own that you’d like to ask me, comment below. 

• • How does your Spiritual Tradition square with your daily life; do you find peace, conflict or both in integrating them?

What is this “peace” that you speak of? I have definitely never gotten that from my religion (just increasingly difficult challenges, most of which I’ve fucked up a bunch before finally getting right) nor would I wish it otherwise. What Syd Barrett says about love in Legion is pretty much how I think of peace: 

Do you know what love is? It’s a hot bath. What happens to things when you leave them in a bath for too long? Huh? They get soft; fall apart. 

But I also like her follow-up to that: 

Love isn’t gonna save us. It’s what we have to save. Pain makes us strong enough to do it. All our scars, our anger, our despair; it’s armor. Baby, God loves the sinners best because our fire burns bright, bright, bright. Burn with me.

Gods, that was a great show. 

• • Do you supplement your Tradition with auxiliary philosophies, or are you a purist?

I am both a purist, and an eclectic. I am only interested in the Dionysian. As it happens, lots and lots of people from all over the world for the last 4,000 years or so have been too, which gives me a rather large pool of philosophy to swim in. 

I am much more interested in the Friedrich Nietzsche / Georges Bataille / Vyacheslav Ivanovich Ivanov / Jim Morrison strain of Dionysian philosophy than the ridiculous spectacle that is the Hellenic and Dionysian communities on Reddit, to be clear. One side is talking about a God, the other their paraphilias. 

• • What are your favourite foods, and do you have a weakness for any in particular?

I don’t really like food. Living with constant high levels of pain has a funny way of killing most of one’s bodily appetites. 

• • What are your clean guilty pleasures?

I don’t feel guilt. It’s the most useless and wasteful of emotions. To paraphrase Yoda, “Do, or do not. But don’t be a whiny bitch about it.”

• • If the obligations of the current economic order were no longer an order, what would you do with your life?

I would be an itinerant religious specialist. So basically what I am now, just more itinerant. 

• • What does your utopia look like?

Nothing, since it comes from the Greek οὐ (“no/not”) and τόπος (“place”) meaning “somewhere that does not exist” — however, if you change the prefix to εὖ (“good” or “well”) so you end up with eutopia meaning “the good place” it would probably be a misoxenic tribal confederacy with strong warrior and priestly classes, spread throughout present-day Montana, Wyoming and  Alberta. Basically the Blackfeet in their prime, but with Pythagoreanism mixed in.   

• • If you could spend time as an anthropological observer in a specific timeline and place, where, why and for how long?

The ancient Mediterranean in a timeline where M. Antonius does not go to war with Iran, which puts him in a better position with regard to Kleopatra, and ensures that they do not suffer defeat at the hands of that catamite Octavian. How long depends on how successful their descendants are. (Which could really go either way.) At the very least I’d be curious to see how differently they handled tensions in Judaea, and if there was, as in our timeline, a plethora of rabble-rousing messianic pretenders, which was a major factor in the lead up to the Jewish wars. Based on the greater experience Ptolemaic Egypt had in dealing with the population compared to Rome I suspect things would have turned out very differently. Herod would never have been made tetrarch/ethnarch for one, and if Jesus did start causing trouble he and his followers would probably have been exiled rather than executed, ensuring that they never grew beyond a minor Jewish sect into the creepy death cult we all know and love today. In fact, without the destruction of the Jerusalem temple we would have a very different Judaism today, a sacrificial religion rather than one of pietism and study, at least in its mainstream expression. But I don’t believe that the centrality of the Jerusalem temple or their monotheism would have lasted, meaning Judaism would probably resemble Hinduism or Zoroastrianism a lot more. This is predicated on the Egypto-Roman empire surviving for more than a couple generations however. While Kleopatra and her father and later her daughter were notable exceptions to the generally deplorable state of the dynasty by that point, in our timeline the Antonines were capable and wise rulers (for the most part) so I like to think that the grafting would have produced favorable fruit. Also note that the policies behind the political theater of Antony’s “Donations” prefigure the organizational and other reforms that our Rome would adopt a couple centuries later. Given enough time they could create a very different world than the one we currently inhabit — especially if the Mouseion and its famous Library in Alexandria was replicated throughout the empire, ensuring that there was no slide into the European Dark Ages and its barbarisms when the dynasty collapsed or was superseded, as all things must eventually be.  

• • What is your favourite clean dirty joke?

What was the name of the paraplegic in the pool of Bethesda that Jesus healed? Bob. 

• • If you had a kill-switch for “the grid” like Kurt Russel did in Escape from Wherever, would you press #666?

Oh, hell yeah. 

• • Do you believe that life would be much improved by the restoration of the Holmgang in English speaking countries?

I don’t like islands, but otherwise abso-fucking-lutely. 

• • What are your least favourite superstitions?

Modernity. Scientism. Liberalism. 

Wow. Einstürzende Neubauten recently performed their 46th anniversary concert. It’s pretty fucking impressive that Blixa Bargeld is still at it. I’d have assumed that he’d be a victim of debauchery or suicide by now. He’ll probably outlive us all. 

With a cup full of Bacchus’ best wine,
I hail the Giants, and Titans, and Gods,
and Monsters, and Labyrinth-dwellers,
and mighty Heroes and Heroines,
and Spirits of Earth, Water, Fire and Air,
the lusty Satyrs, the sage Sileni,
the wardance-loving Korybants,
the Nymphs who nurse him,
the Nymphs who love him,
the Nymphs who protect him,
the Mad Ones, the Hanged Ones,
the Kings and Artists,
the Blessed Initiates,
the experts in Orphic rites,
and the Dead who belong to him,
all forming an invisible troop
of wild spirits that march unseen
but clearly heard in Dionysos’ processions,
who race through the fields,
and forests, and city streets,
on certain especially dark nights,
in pursuit of victims of the hunt,
delighting in the chase,
driven to frenzy by their God, Zagreus
the far-roaming one, the master pursuer.
Hail, you Furious Host, and may you never thirst!

Sayings of Desert Fathers 184
I heard that Abba Poemen and many of the fathers uttered this saying: ‘The snake-charmer does not know the force of the words he speaks but the beast hears and knows: it is rendered obedient and subservient.’ That is how it is with us; even if we do not know the force of the words we are saying, yet the demons hear and retreat in fear.

As this incense rises, curling to the unseen,
may it please you, Liberator, Breaker of chains.
Accept this offering, sweet with earth and fire,
a breath of devotion carried on the air.
You who dwell in forest shadow and festal light,
in laughter, in wine, in the pulse of the drum—
be near, O Twice-Born,
and awaken the spirit within me.
Loosen what is bound,
open what is closed,
let the sacred frenzy of life flow freely.
In this moment, I honor you—
in scent, in flame, in reverence.
Evoe, Dionysos!
Receive this offering.

Remember the words of Falernus,
“The tradition needs man
as much as man needs the tradition.”
Therefore, as is only right,
on this day appointed for sacred feasting,
on which all conflict must cease,
and no business may be conducted,
we accord to Bacchus due respect
with songs our fathers sang
and trays of baked offerings
in the shape of virile members,
and we pray for our sons:
Oh Father Liber,
who leads souls through the Labyrinth,
guide our sons into manhood,
gentle tyrant of the Evian cry,
and make them worthy to wear the purple stripe
by testing their hearts in wine, and fury,
and trials that forge strong characters.

O thrice-ecstatic Dionysos,
bearer and bestower of intoxication,
ever wild and untamed, you who dance
between joy and madness,
Stranger God,
you come to people
where they are,
as they are,
and you give to them
as much of your blessings
as they are ready
and able to accept.
With a hand more careful and skilled
than that of any physician
you heal the hearts of the hurting,
broken, and outcast,
and leave us purified.
Dionysos Bakcheios,
you are the Savior of body and soul!
You are the loving granter of eternal happiness!
So hail to the God whom I serve and adore,
Dionysos whose name is the sweetest
sound I have ever heard. Hail him again, and again!
May all who are lost, and in need of your
blessings find you, Lord of Mount Nysa,
and may they accept your savage grace,
and the mysteries that save.

O Dionysos Bakcheios, we pray
for the wellbeing and success
of your Starry Bull tradition.
Fill it with your mysteries,
in all truth, with proper understanding.
Where it is corrupt, purify it;
where it is in error, correct it;
where it is amiss, reform it;
where it is divided, reunite it.
Where it is right, strengthen it;
where it is pleasing, bless it;
where it warrants it, provide for it;
where it is doing your work, protect it.
Io evohe! Io io Dionysos Asterios!

O loudsounding Bakchepaian, grandson of Kadmos
who danced on the slopes of Kithairon by your grace
as if he was a young man again; you who did not just
restore the rock-mangled bodies of Ino and her precious
Melikertēs to life, but transformed them into divine protectors
of those at sea; I petition you Dionysos Iatros, come to the aid
of NN, your dear devotee, who continues to praise your most
excellent name through illness and grievous pains; please
demonstrate your magnificence and love of humanity
by granting them cessation of suffering, health, and wholeness.
I know that you can accomplish this, and other wonders beyond counting,
if you but will Sōtēr, so I beseech you to help NN, beloved Medōmethēs.

O Dionysos, Bull who was slain
and born again amid the thunderous rain
of Zeus your father, friend of men and Gods
throughout the inhabited world, plentiful giver
of fertility and the blessings of every kind of madness;
we pray that you help us remember what is important,
and forget the things that we need
no longer burden our minds with.
O Dionysos, God of those who wear white,
and immerse ourselves in your tradition,
and sing the songs that sustain the world;
each day we pray to do better, and to be better people,
that you shall gain honor through our deeds and our words.
Merciful One, we acknowledge our imperfections before you,
and, O Starry Dionysos, even though we can
still violate the taboos that have been laid upon us,
err in the performance of the sacred rites, neglect the times
we have set aside for study, prayer, and reflection,
forget the wise and simple tenets of your religion,
we still adore you, and dedicate our lives to your service.
Do not abandon us, Lord of Mount Nysa, for we are
frail and imperfect creatures who so often miss the mark.
Instead, kindly Dionysos, grant us the strength to forgive
those who have done us wrong, and the courage
to seek forgiveness when we ourselves have faltered.
Help us to practice love and understanding with our family,
our friends, the members of our thiasos, our clients,
as well as outsiders who don’t know your principles,
and the way of life which Orpheus, Pythagoras, and Euripides
have taught us to live so that we may be pleasing to you,
and successfully make the journey through the underworld
to join the other souls who revel in your train,
the women and men counted worthy to bear your name
and dance your secret mystic dances for all time.
O Dionysos, Bull whose blood intoxicates
and cleanses us so that we may lead a pious life,
proudly bearing the crown of ivy,
and shaking our thyrsos in joy,
hear our prayers and look generously upon us.

One Dionysos, now and forever!
You are great, O Successor of Zeus,
and greatly to be praised. It is joy
to worship you; thrice-joyous to become drunk
on your miraculous wine. Our heart is restless
until it rests in you, Savior of men upon the Earth,
Guide and goal of the souls who walk the labyrinth-like
path through the Underworld to Mount Nysa,
where your wild ones abide with you forever.

May the son of Semele Kallikarpos, who loves you, favor you.
May Bakcheios place his protection around you day by day.
May you dance to delirium and make ecstatic proclamations
of his names and exploits; then may Dionysos Meilichios embrace you,
and grant that you spend a long lifetime of happiness on Earth,
full of potency, prosperity and praise!

Dionysos of many names and many forms, unrivaled in power
and beneficence, grant the favors that are yours to grant:
freedom from all constraints, wisdom that confounds the wise,
poetic inspiration, abundant wealth, charisma, the fruits of ecstasy,
a long life and a good old age, and numerous other favors
so that we may come before you in joy O Dionysos, our Master,
favored son of Zeus, who is unique among the Gods of Mount Olympos,
those upon the Earth, and beneath it. You slaughtered the snake-limbed
Giants Eurytos, Porphyrion, and Alkyoneus, fearless sons of Gaia,
so what are my troubles compared to such mighty deeds, O brother
of Herakles who wields a tree-trunk like a club and Hermes who can
outwit even the all-seeing Argos? I am thankful beyond words to express
the mound of good deeds you have done for mankind, and ask that
this matter be added to the pile, Dionysos Thaleiros and Thaumatourgos.

O Dionysos who grew to manhood
in Arabian Nysa, land of a thousand spices,
I pray that you accept this incense I am offering,
and hope that its exotic scent is pleasing
to you as you are pleasing to me, God who
desires to be worshiped through the senses,
and grants sweet intoxication which releases
us from all of life’s troubles and hindrances.
As this aromatic smoke swirls and dances
around your shrine, let all other thoughts fade away,
unlocking a flood of memories of past rites
performed, and past encounters with you,
surge forth overwhelming my mind,
so that I am in the right state
to make the rest of the offerings
I have gathered for you today.

O Dionysos, God arrayed in a Hymnod’s white garb
and crowned with laurel as Leader of the Muses;
you who taught Thracian Charops mystic songs
and how to play the krotala and tympanon.
Dreamer, inspirer, exciter to frenzy, revealer;
I petition you — overcome my frustration,
and smash through any blockages within me,
so that the words I have stored up will gush forth
like an inundation of wine, like a firestorm of truth.
O Dionysos Melpomenios, you who loosen the tongue
and free the mind, guide my voice and shape my vision —
that what I write may breathe and live, and do honor
to you, my King.

O Dionysos Phileleos, please accept my veneration though
my words are clumsily spoken, and I cannot always recall
all of the things I am supposed to do at your shrine.
I was born into a society which does not teach its people
proper reverence, and I am lacking in mentors or wise models
to emulate. I do what I can with what I have, and I am
figuring things out as I go along, striving always to improve
the quality of the worship I offer to you and your blessed family,
for my heart swells with love of you, and I wish only to give you the best,
for you have been so gracious and understanding with me,
though I am just one person, alone, fumbling in the dark.
O Dionysos Euphrōn, I pray, increase my knowledge and confidence;
with every rite performed let it become easier to approach you
and conduct worship in the ways which are proper, and pious,
and pleasing to you, the God of the Bacchants, whom I hope one day
to be worthy to be counted among, that I may spend both this and the
life to come in joy and perfect celebration with my own kind. Io evohe!

The Starry Ram now has its own soundtrack. It tells a story, if you have ears to hear.