Gods, I was so dorkly back then.

Seilenos was reclining in the shade of a pine tree to escape the mid-day sun when the satyr Chreios* sought him out.

Chreios said, “Father Seilenos, I come to you in great need! Everyone everywhere recognizes your wisdom, for it was you who instructed our Lord Dionysos in the arts and philosophy when he was but a nursling in the groves of Nysa. I am very poor, and need a magic charm that will bring me wealth.”

Seilenos replied: “Very well my son. Make yourself a satchet of pure linen, and place in it 3 parts patchouli, 2 parts basil, 1 part cinnamon, and 1 part cedar.

“Patchouli will draw to you fertility and the richness of the earth.

“Basil will keep off negative influences, and ensure the happy conclusion of your endeavors.

“Sweet cinnamon purifies like a mighty fire and attracts as the flames of lust.

“And strength you will need to accomplish your will, as the ancient cedars of Lebanon.

“Now when you mix these ingredients in your satchet, recite the following prayer:

“Lord Dionysos, when you were torn to pieces by the Titans your blood spilled onto the rich, fertile earth, and everywhere that a drop fell a new plant sprouted up. May the power of these herbs bring me the wealth I so deeply desire, you who are the giver of every blessing.

“Then put the satchet in a bath of pure water, and immerse yourself in it. Feel the power of the herbs flow into your body as you bathe, and you shall surely find the wealth you desire when you arise.”

“Thank you!” Chreios exclaimed, “A hundred times, thank you! However can I repay you for this boon?”

“By stepping out of my shade, child. It is very hot out.”

And Seilenos turned over and went back to sleep.

* Chreios’ name is apparently derived from the Greek word χρεια meaning ‘want’, ‘necessity’, or ‘business’.

3 thoughts on “Gods, I was so dorkly back then.

  1. I need to look into this. They killed my hours at work both during Thanksgiving and for the past 2 weeks. I don’t know how I’m going to get gifts for everyone this Holiday let alone pay the Utilities.


      1. From your lips to Hermes and Dionysos’s ears. And it’s not just me, it’s everyone in the store. They need it as much as I do and in some cases more. Store went over-budget but wants to net $2.5 million at year’s end. Hard to do that when there’s no one to serve customers.

        Anyway, bless you Sannion My Friend and Brother in our Bacchic Lord.


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