Neptunesdolphins had a good question about how sexual predation in our communities should be handled based on my previous post. Since there’s been some positive progress, including new people coming forward to share their stories, I’m going to post my response here to keep the conversation going.
I actually have a more complex, detailed plan than I described here. Posting shit on the internet doesn’t really accomplish the goal of removing these predators from our midst, except that it might intimidate his co-moderators into either removing him from a position of authority or kicking him out of the group so that he no longer has access to vulnerable children. It won’t stop the problem, however, because he’ll just move on, change his online persona, and start the predation somewhere else.
I mean, I suppose that’s better than doing nothing, but I actually want to stop this problem. Which is difficult when most of my information is 5+ years out of date, from accounts that are no longer active, and often lacking actionable evidence. Hell, I don’t even know what part of Australia this guy is currently residing in, so I can’t even forward the information I do have to the local authorities. However, by making it known that this behavior is going on and action is being taken to stop it, I have already had people come forward and contact me, with more recent and progressively worse accounts of abuse. I am encouraging them to take action themselves and share this with the moderators, and more importantly local authorities. Even if he’s no longer there it gets the process started, and in the hands of people who can actually do something tangible about it.
I don’t want this son of a bitch to have a shitty reputation in online Hellenic forums. I want him behind bars, where he can’t harm children any more. If that has the added effect of signalling to potential predators that we won’t tolerate this kind of behavior in our communities all the better. But this shit thrives where there is silence and indifference. And I understand why a lot of folks are intimidated and don’t want to come forward initially. They aren’t heard, action isn’t taken, and these people are usually well-liked and have supporters who are going to harass and threaten and damage their reputations, both in public and private. That is a lot to go up against, especially if you’re an isolated kid who is just starting out in our communities.
Well, I’ve got nothing to lose. People have said the worst things imaginable about me, excluded me from the mainstream, doxed me, etc etc etc. And I’m still here, still speaking out on dangerous and controversial issues, still sharing my perspective on the Gods and the religion. Their threats are meaningless, even when they dox my address and phone number and other personal information. I have no skeletons in my closet I need fear being exposed, I am self-employed as an author and religious specialist, and I’m a big guy with a high pain tolerance and am comfortable with violence, so it would be very foolish of them to step to me in person. Therefore I am in a privileged position to be a gadfly on the ass of these abusers and their accomplices until something’s finally done about it. I’ve been responsible for the removal of 3 predators so far. Pyrokanthos publicly, and the others were handled more privately. Possibly more I’ll never know about. And I have every intention to keep doing this as long as the Gods give me the vitality and opportunity to do so, and I will do it by whatever means necessary.
The House of Vines 
not to mention, you have a wife who is *very* comfortable with violence and very well armed. I wish we had a community where instead of harassing pious people for their devotion, we excluded the actual predators. A community that hides sexual predation, makes excuses for it, etc. OR accuses the innocent, is a community that should burn.
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Until those two are flipped (and the one preferably eradicated) I don’t think we have many communities worth the name within our assorted polytheisms or neopaganisms. Small, local, autonomous groups, perhaps, but not the overarching structures early members and groups attempted to construct. What we ended up with much more resembles pop culture fandoms.
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Pop culture fandoms is the perfect word for what we seem to have. I have noticed it on Patheos Pagan and elsewhere. People worship the person not their piety. And it is reciprocal – the worshiped person responds to the adoration. I see it in the writings of the bloggers there where they go further and further afield in politics.
As for sexual predation, I remember when I was vending, that the idea of free sexuality was sacred. I mean people fornicating naked in my booth, and getting mad when I told them to move. I got mobbed by angry naked people for being intolerant. I wasn’t the only one. My booth is a place of business.
One local group split in two over money, but it was couched in terms of blessing BDSM, beyond tolerating it. The people who preferred a more sedate festival or religious, were labeled bad and intolerant people. That is what people face – being shunned and told they are intolerant.
Sex is a complex subject, and there is a party line that is followed. Think WOKE ideology.
However, having experienced the Virginia Redistricting effort to change the districts from 6 Dem -5 Rep to 10 Dem and 1 Rep, I realized it is about naked power. We were told by Obama that the 10-1 was to have fair elections and level the playing field. Shades of lies, lies, and promoting anti-Trump fears. For one thing only, a power grab. The political situation is that the Democrats are facing extinction.
I wonder if the sexual mores that exist is also in a similar transition between the old guard of “free sex” and the coming group of “responsible sex” or piety. I wonder if all this over-the-top reaction to J.K. Rowling and others is a form of fear of extinction and diminished power.
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Wow. I’m still trying to wrap my head around all that, especially your experience vending, and the reactions people had. I mean, it’s not exactly surprising but it’s still … wow.
Part of why it’s not surprising is the overlap between Neopaganism, SCA & LARPing, as well as Scifi/fantasy fandoms beginning in the early 1970s and 80s. You’ve got a lot of the same people involved, and those people were often interested in polyamory/swinging, BDSM, and LGBTQ which they brought into the mix. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with any of that, a very permissive “do what thou wilt” ethos prevailed, often involving drug experimentation, and boundary-pushing with things like nudity, exhibitionism, age disparity and other paraphilias expected to be tolerated out in the open, as opposed to specially designated play spaces. You are expected to be tolerant, and even to participate, or strong negative social pressure is applied, and sometimes worse.
A lot of this was a response to, and breaking of, the strict social norms of the 1950s and 60s, and unfortunately while a lot has changed since those early halcyon days this has not only persisted, but evolved (or degenerated, depending on one’s perspective) within these communities until we are where we’e at today.
I’m not a prude, by any stretch of the imagination. But I think that these things need to be engaged in responsibly, with strict ethical codes, especially if there’s overlap with any kind of spirituality or religious tradition. The potential for manipulation and other kinds of coercive and abusive behaviors is just too great. Even otherwise decent and responsible people can fall victim to temptation. There’s nothing original about this, sadly. The Catholic sexual abuse scandals are an obvious comparison, but there have been similar cases with Baptists, Hasidim, Moslems, Buddhist, Hindu, Yoga and New Age groups and no doubt others that are currently escaping my memory.
The question isn’t whether such transgressions will take place, but when, and how they will be handled. Some groups are better at this than others; unfortunately Neopagan and Polytheist religions don’t exactly have a great track record. They don’t put enough thought into it before a problem arises or have clearly articulated rules and procedures, groups are run by charismatic and likable figures who don’t have checks on their authority and power within the group which makes it even harder for victims to speak up and be believed, groups don’t work together or have ways of keeping track of abusers and ensuring that they don’t just start up in another place or under another name, etc.
It’s a Gordian Knot, and it’ll take smarter folks than me to figure out how to handle all of this.
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What was interesting to me was that the group that split over money – one of the two was stealing the money since they did very profitable festivals. The other and me were auditors since we are professionals in auditing and accounting. i.e. we follow the money down the rabbit hole and back out again.
The thief decided to call us out as prudes and intolerant boobs. Of course the mob followed. Funny thing was that I am bi-sexual and actually fluid in gender, and my fellow accountant practices polyamory with four partners. So go figure.
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If I told you my kinks you’d run for the hills. I just engage in them responsibly.
As for the rest … so not surprising, sadly. Any time you see someone try to drum up a mob my first question is, “Cui bono?”
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