During the Persian War the great Athenian hero Themistokles made a special offering to his God Dionysos:
Themistokles was sacrificing alongside the admiral’s trireme and three prisoners of war were brought to him, of visage most beautiful to behold, conspicuously adorned with raiment and with gold. They were said to be the sons of Sandauké, the king’s sister, and Artaÿktos. When Euphrantides the seer caught sight of them, since at one and the same moment a great and glaring flame shot up from the sacrificial victims and a sneeze gave forth its good omen on the right, he clasped Themistokles by the hand and bade him consecrate the youths, and sacrifice them all to Dionysos Omestes (Carnivorous), with prayers of supplication; for on this wise would the Hellenes have a saving victory. Themistokles was terrified, feeling that the word of the seer was monstrous and shocking; but the multitude, who, as is wont to be the case in great struggles and severe crises, looked for safety rather from unreasonable than from reasonable measures, invoked the God with one voice, dragged the prisoners to the altar, and compelled the fulfilment of the sacrifice, as the seer commanded. At any rate, this is what Phanias the Lesbian says, and he was a philosopher, and well acquainted with historical literature. (Plutarch, Life of Themistokles 13.2-3)
It’s been a while since pious polytheists could emulate him in this. However a reader brought to my attention an unique opportunity that’s presented itself thanks to the genocidal conflict Putin and his cronies are waging in the Ukraine – signmyrocket.com. This is a site run by Ukrainians who are willing to write whatever message you want on munitions that’ll be launched at the marauding Russian forces – such as, “I consecrate these deaths to Dionysos and his Retinue” for instance. You can choose from a range of weapons, including everything from bullets and grenades on up to Howitzers and more. (And if you just want to support the Ukrainian forces who are nobly defending their homeland there are a bunch of non-lethal options too – but either way the money raised will be going to help wounded veterans.)
According to my reader you need to carefully follow instructions or this could get flagged. First make your selection on the site and click “way to pay” and “fire.” Then, and this is very important, take down your donation number and email email@example.com inquiring how to pay via PayPal, and you’ll get a response in a day or so providing instructions. Follow them to the letter. Send your PayPal donation to the address provided marked as “friends and family” and when it’s ready you’ll get a picture and possibly a video of your sacrifice in action.
Not only will this act help feed our hungry Gods (and the deaths can be consecrated to divinities other than Dionysos should you be so inclined) but you’ll be helping the Ukrainians take out some of the baby-raping and grandma-murdering Russian swine, which benefits everybody.