How do you ecstasy?

Go outside. Go for a long, rambling walk, letting your legs take you wherever they want to go. Let your mind wander, but don’t focus too much on your thoughts. Be open. Try to really see and feel and smell and taste what’s around you. Be present in your body to the point where you can feel the heart in your chest swell and throb as it circulates the blood through you, the “slow, wet mechanism of muscle and bone” that allows you to stride aimlessly through the city streets. Breathe. Breathe. Empty your mind of all thoughts but thoughts of him. Remember how you’ve experienced him in the past through all of your senses: the heat of the flame kissing your fingers, the tartness of good warm wine drunk in front of his shrine, air thick with clouds of incense smoke, earthy and sweet with a musky undertone, grass brushing against your cheek as you roll in a fit of laughter, black soil caught underneath your jagged and broken nails from pounding your fist into the ground as the tears cut fiery swaths down your cheek, that warm, sexy excitement that enfolds you whenever he’s near. Breathe. Call to mind whatever reminds you of him. And then open your eyes and look for him and signs of him in the world around you.