Dionysos Dhū-Šarā was sharing a Sabbath dinner
with Yahō of Teman and Ašerah his beloved wife,
when the peaceful festivities were interrupted by Martû
leader of the hateful Giants in their assault on Heaven,
having stacked Mount Gerizim atop Mount Ebal
so that they could reach the dwelling of the Most High.
Martû was the first to be struck down by the terrible harpoon
with which Adōnai dragged Leviathan up from the depths;
then Šemyāzā and Asaēl, instigators of iniquity,
felt the unfettered wrath of Ēl Šadday. Ferocious Dionysos
threw Achōr, Bēlisath and Gadrahaēl into Tartaros
to join their brothers, after removing the heads from their bodies.
And Ašerah impaled Yōšiah the defiler with a pole,
then chased Anak across the sky to the place where the Sun sets.
Yahō Sabaōth gave a great battle-cry and the mountains
separated once more and returned to their rightful spaces,
sending Nimrōth and the remaining Giants plummeting to the Earth,
where the Angels and Archangels swiftly dispatched them,
creating a deluge of blood throughout Samaria and Judea,
which is why the Sea of Arabah is salty to this day.
Dionysos, fearing for his family back in Hellas,
prepared to mount his swift battle-donkey and depart,
but Yahō clasped arms with him and pledged to assist
the Olympians in thwarting the assault of the terrible Earthborn,
and the two mighty Gods sped across the Heavens in a chariot
drawn by winged Cherūbim of terrifying countenance,
arriving just as the forces of Typhōn were about to breach
the mansions of Zeus and his divine court, like Eurymedōn
and his kin had attempted before. When the dreadful war was over
and the violent forces of Typhōn vanquished, Yahō and Dionysos were closer
than brothers and the Lord of the Vine extended his protection to the Jews,
Ašerah and Yahō’s covenanted people, in their wanderings
after Typhōn’s son Legiōn drove them from their homeland
and demolished Yahō’s holy temple in Jerusalem,
in revenge for his father being chained beneath Mount Aetna
during the Second Gigantomachia. Be mindful of my utterance,
spirit of hate and division, and why I pronounced it.
Know this too: Dionysos stands to your left,
and Yahō of Teman is on your right;
Ašerah is behind you,
and facing you are countless Angels and Archangels
led by Michaēl, the Prince of Heaven, who wields a fiery sword.
Of the vast host who took part in Typhōn’s rebellion,
the Gods slew 409,000 of them.
How much more were these Giants and fallen divinities
than you, O unclean thing?
Do you think things will somehow go differently
for you who pants after wickedness?
Now would be a good time to leave,
and never come back, before it is too late for you.