Dionysos was sailing his ship down the Danube
when he arrived in the land of the Magyars;
but when he came ashore he could find no Magyars anywhere,
as they were hiding from the demon Guta who liked to beat people
until they had a stroke or died of hemorrhage.
Dionysos said, “Stop striking these good people,
or you shall surely regret it!”
And the demon Guta just laughed in his face.
So with the scepter of Phanēs Dionysos smote Guta
in the temple, and the ugly head of Guta fell off.
All over Guta’s body he beat him,
until there was just a pile of bones and meat,
which Dionysos had carried away and burnt by his Satyrs,
and when the foul-smelling smoke was gone,
migraines and epilepsy disappeared from the land of the Magyars,
and the people returned from the caves and forest
where they had been hiding from the demon Guta.
So may it be for NN, who struggles to worship the Gods
through pain and sickness, day in and day out.
May Dionysos banish suffering, and bring forth rejoicing,
and may Guta the demon remain struck down.