8 thoughts on “Epic

  1. That was one of my step-dad’s favorite songs…and we wanted it to be played at his funeral, but the stupid fucking idiot Catholic priest who was the “celebrant” of it did not allow it because the organist who was going to be available was “a Protestant” and therefore, he said, “Wouldn’t know it.” Uhh…she can read music, can’t she? It isn’t as if this is a song that is secret and that only Catholics are allowed to hear or play…it is one of many things about that asshole that made the funeral less-good than it could have been (the other major one being that he got my step-dad’s name wrong, TWICE, in the first five minutes of the funeral).

    Anyway, he probably would have appreciated this version. ;)


    1. Uggh. Sorry y’all had to deal with that. Plus, like, Ave Maria is one of the most popular songs in the history of songing. I’m sure the Protestant organist had heard it before.


      1. Exactly…

        This “priest” was a real piece of work in general. He was superlatively disrespectful to all of us at various times, and had we not been there under the introduction of some family friends who I didn’t want to disrespect, he would have had more than two earfuls from me on some of his attitude. He was a crappy liturgist amongst many other faults…

        But, yeah, I’m sure Protestants have heard, and–horror of horrors!–even played that song before. If one is a trained organist, as this person was, she should be able to read music…!?!


    2. A musician not knowing Ave Maria? That’s like saying a biologist isn’t aware of On the Origin of Species or a Classicist not knowing the Iliad. It’s kind of a big deal and anyone who knows anything about their field has at least encountered references to said work. I think your priest was having a little too much Blood of Christ


      1. It’s even worse than that: he was not drunk on something respectable like the Holy Spirit, he was drunk on the smell of his own farts because his head was so far up his own arse that you could hear a faint echo because he was speaking twice out of his own mouth!

        If someone is arrogant and good at their area of expertise, that’s one thing. This guy had more airs than a ninety-year-old Sean Nós singer, and yet his abilities as a liturgist were lackluster at best, and abysmal at worst.

        I started referring to him as “Father Yutz” after the funeral, and my younger brother–who does’t know much Yiddish–thought that was his actual name! ;)


          1. I can imagine if John of Iverkeithing had done the funeral, the sorts of things we’d be wrangling over instead:

            “What do you mean you don’t want a twenty-foot penis covered in glitter to sit at the front of the chapel while a bunch of nude youths dance around it and sing the traditional Scots Gaelic air, ‘Auld Fergus’ Cock o’ Stone’?”

            (Gods, I hope that Fergus and friends don’t want me to now write that damn song!)


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