But there’s no reason for this to turn into some kind of petty vendetta

I was really touched by something I read this morning about the always classy Classicist Mary Beard:

Speaking in an interview with the New Yorker magazine, Beard revealed the pair had remained in touch after he took her to lunch to apologise for sending her a tweet that read: “You filthy old slut” followed by a derogatory comment about her genitalia. Beard retweeted it to her 47,000 followers to out her abuser, but said she had now taken to writing job recommendations for Rawlings so he didn’t suffer in the long term for “one moment of idiocy”. “He is going to find it hard to get a job, because as soon as you Google his name that is what comes up,” she said. “And although he was a very silly, injudicious, and at that moment not very pleasant young guy, I don’t actually think one tweet should ruin your job prospects.”

Naturally this got me thinking about Brandie Elaine who has been attacking me and the thiasos on various Facebook groups with gems such as this:

I have never met Sannion to give him a fair judgement, but I think it’s a bit vain to dub himself leader of Hellenismos just because he writes a blog. Then, who does he call to his ‘leadership’ meeting? Kyrene? A two faced, backstabbing, bitch. Edward? A fool with blatant disregard for the teachings of Orpheus. I hope there is better leadership in this community than that. If this is the best the community can offer, I’ll be happy in my own corner with the gods where I have been content to stay for nearly a decade.

Clearly this girl is having a moment fueled by jealousy over our success. After all, she’s been running a fundraiser to help build a temple for Apollon, the god of purity, in Las Vegas since January and only managed to raise a couple hundred bucks. Thiasos members and readers of this blog meanwhile helped raise several grand to get folks to the Polytheist Leadership Conference and assisted Ruadhán in moving into his new apartment. That’s got to sting.

But there’s no reason for this to turn into some kind of petty vendetta. Our communities are too small to constantly be at each other’s throats. So in the spirit of Ms. Beard I’d like to help draw attention to some of the services my self-pointed adversary is offering.

Apparently Brandie Elaine is also a self-appointed Pythia who will answer your questions on Facebook in cute rhymey verse just like the Delphic oracle didn’t do:

Candy craving. Ranting. Raving. Let go of what is not worth saving.

Enviable family tree Olympian blood coursing through thee

Driving to succeed. Ambition. Supplies you with your ammunition.

Risk of non conformity. Embrace the individuality.

Change for the better. Answered prayers. Loyal friends at the top of the stairs.

Her qualifications for this are quite astounding:

I am a devotee of the Olympian Gods, trained in both Greek and Native American Mysticism. I was raised in the tradition of the Native American Shaman / Medicine Man and am able to accurately interpret all your dreams and visions. I walk between the worlds and commune with the Great Spirit in the traditional old ways. I was initiated into the path of the ancient Greeks by Todd Jackson, founder of both the Yahoo and Facebook Groups Kyklos Apollon and work most closely with Greek God Apollon. I am capable of all kinds of oracular processes and supplication in regards to the ancient practices of Hellenic Polytheism.

For the low, low price of $33.00 this Native American Shaman / Medicine Man will conjure your custom Native American Spirit Guide for you:

You may choose your preference of male or female and the tribe, or I will preform a general call. These spirits are very powerful nature magick guides and will assist you in speaking to animals, shape shifting, daily battles,herbal connections and understanding, and spiritual healing of yourself and others.

Have you lost your soul? Check behind your couch – that’s where I usually find mine. But if it’s not there Brandie Elaine will help you track it down for a meager $30.

For $50 she’ll whip out the big guns and perform HERCULES Banishing and exorcism Ritual by Apollo’s Priest for you:

I require the address of the location from which the entity is to be removed (I will see it using Google Earth in order to focus).Remember that Hercules is also a constellation – where you are will not matter.

Unfortunately I’ll have to pass on that one as I’m not in the habit of giving my home address or other personal information to strangers on the internet, even ones who sound totes legit like Brandie Elaine does.

But I might take her up on that whole third eye activation thingy:

Have you lost the ability to see and hear the world of the spirits that occupy the world around you? This is an ability everyone is born with and slowly, the world around us closes that ability off to our minds. I am trained in a powerful technique of activation that only gets stronger as time passes. Recover your natural psychic abilities. These are not meant to be for a chosen few, it is something we are all capable of and I can assist you in the return of this birth right power, quickly.

My forehead is getting all tingly just thinking about it. (Look, I rhymed does that mean I’m becoming Pythic too?)

If that’s not your bag Brandie Elaine thankfully also offers psychic readings, dream interpretation, cloud-divination, ask a Stoic and custom spell casting.

But perhaps the most important service Brandie Elaine offers is a rite of Ancient Greek Reverse Adoption:

Listen. Can you hear the call? Echoes in the ancient halls approach us. Those of us who need a focus, guiding hands, loving commands, protection and some balance, Olympus will adopt us.

I am a high priestess of the Gods of ancient Greece and am happy to offer my services in reverse adoption of a Greek God based on your energy frequency, where you are in your life, and where do you wish to be. This will include a vessel of their choice, invocations of the deity that chooses you and what are their acceptable offerings with a description of their powers, how they will speak to you and how they will influence your life.

You get all that for just $44.44! What a steal!

So maybe if you give Brandie Elaine your precious moneys she’ll stop harassing people on the internet.

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14 thoughts on “But there’s no reason for this to turn into some kind of petty vendetta

  1. I’m not sure what I love best… the rhyming oracles posted publicly, with names attached, on Facebook…. the claims to find a god and make them adopt you…. the “Native American” shamanism without any indication of tribal affiliation (because, you know, the religious practices of an entire continent of tribes were all just the same thing and can be referred to collectively)… the use of the name Pythia…. the offering of intense shamanic services for $30 which should barely cover the types of offerings necessary for such a thing not to mention the extremely difficult work involved…. it’s all so good.

    Especially the irony in claiming to be a *Pythia* and able to essentially bestow a spirit or god upon anyone who pays her, and then denouncing you merely for being a “leader” and offering to help people already worshipping Dionysos to draw closer to Him. I think we call that chutzpah!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The words, “Are you fucking kidding me, woman?” come to mind.

    Like

    • Sadly I do not believe that she is.

      Like

      • What’s doubly sad is that people are actually *buying* this stuff on Etsy.

        Like

        • There’s such a hunger for connection with the gods in this secular age that they’ll grasp for anything, even something as dubious as this. I feel really bad for those people and hope that the worst thing that happens to them is that their wallets are a little lighter.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Cheyenne

    Ahaha, oh man, she contacted me years ago when my location/e-mail were listed on Neokoroi. I was reluctant to meet up with her b/c she gave off a kind of iffy new-age vibe. Glad to see my suspicions confirmed beyond my wildest dreams.

    Like

  4. Because years of devotion and study are so yesterday, just get initiated and poof instant high priestess. No qualifications necessary! Who has time for indepth focus on your god, now it is not necessary. And throw in some extra special abilities learnt from questionable persons unknown and you have the high priestess everyone dreams about! *bites tongue*

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hercules banishing ritual?

    Like

  6. Because Diana of Themiscyra is about as Greek as this “pythia”

    Liked by 2 people

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