Mullets are against my religion


To flesh out the last post I figured I’d go back through Lycophron’s Alexandra to see if he had any other obscure Magna Graecian mythological allusions of interest – and I’m so glad that I did, because I learned that Cassandra was venerated there as a protector of Goth chicks against grabby-handed dudebros with mullets:

Lycophron, Alexandra 1122 ff
Nor shall my worship be nameless among men, nor fade hereafter in the darkness of oblivion. But the chiefs of the Daunians shall build for me a shrine on the banks of the Salpe, and those also who inhabit the city of Dardanus, beside the waters of the lake. And when girls wish to escape the yoke of maidens, refusing for bridegrooms men adorned with locks such as Hector wore*, but with defect of form or reproach of birth, they will embrace my image with their arms, winning a mighty shield against marriage, having clothed them in the garb of the Erinyes** and dyed their faces with magic simples. By those staff-carrying women I shall long be called an immortal goddess.

* The schol. says this means that the hair is worn long behind and shorn in front. Cf. Hesych. s.v. Hektoreioi komêtai. Daunioi kai Peuketioi echontes tên ap’ Iliou tois ônois perikechumenên tricha (Plut. Thes. 5).

** Aristot. Mirab. 109 refers to the black clothes worn by all Daunians, male and female. The schol. quotes Timaeus for the statement that the Daunian women wore a dark dress, were girt with broad ribands, wore ta koila tôn hypodênatôn, i.e. reaching to the calves of the leg (es mesên tên knêmên anêkonta, Poll. v. 19, cf. vii. 84, Ael. N.A. vi. 23) carried a wand in their hands, and painted their faces with a reddish colour – suggesting the Furies of tragedy.

This is important information to know when you’re reconstructing a religion!

In all seriousness, the shit with the ribbons is kind of significant since that comes up again in Tarantism. And of course the painting of the face with what I’m assuming is red ochre is also kind of a big deal.

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5 thoughts on “Mullets are against my religion

  1. M.A. Rivera

    Mullets…they’re just wrong on so many levels.


    • I had one as a kid, in imitation of my favorite Canadian wrestler.


      • M.A. Rivera

        And I used to roll my eyes up into my head in imitation of one of my favorite wrestlers. Obviously it doesn’t compare with growing a mullet, just remembering the good times.


  2. An appropriate title in more ways than one, given your personal ban on consuming fish!


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