This has been an intense and wonderful Anthesteria, especially last night. So much happened I couldn’t even begin to tell you about it (though the description of the opera in the last post? yeah, kinda like that) and some of it I simply can’t, it being both άπόρρητον and άρρητον. I went to sleep feeling exuberantly joyous, like I’d done good and important work, full to brimming with my god’s bliss and frenzy …
… and woke up in hell.
Empty. Raw. Aching physically and spiritually. Every little thing setting me off on an emotional rollercoaster. Plagued by concerns and doubt. Just utterly, utterly miserable.
I was starting to fear that I’d pushed too far, done too much over the last couple days and it broke my brain.
And maybe it did.
But Dver also reminded me that this is how it always is. Then you do the rites, expel the pollution and things get better.
This festival, man. It’s fucking intense.