I am a Fool. I go to extremes in everything, hold nothing of myself back. I think and say and do things others don’t, won’t or can’t — and often for good reason. I embrace all that is wrong to show what is right. In other words I devour filth and shit out rainbows. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.
There has been a lot of conversation lately about people who desperately want to be god-bothered but aren’t. A lot of excellent points have been raised. Modern Western people — and Americans especially — seem to feel that we are entitled to whatever we want and that things should be egalitarian. If one person has or can do something everyone ought to be able to — even though this just isn’t the way the world operates and earlier societies were acutely aware of that, especially as regards the sacred. Not everyone has the necessary wiring to have regular encounters with gods and spirits — and most of those who do have had to make excruciating sacrifices and have rigorous demands placed on them as a result which others cannot or will not meet. A society comprised entirely of shamans won’t thrive — it requires leaders and priests and warriors and artists and craftspeople and doctors and farmers and homemakers and people doing all the simple, unglamorous and supportive work too. The faith of those who do not directly encounter the gods and spirits is stronger and in some ways more dear to them than that of those who do.
These and other noble sentiments have been expressed during this community-wide conversation — but so far there’s one argument I haven’t really seen anyone make. No doubt that’s because the people participating in this are fundamentally decent human beings and so are understandably reticent of coming off like assholes. Thankfully I am not so encumbered.
Perhaps the reason gods and spirits don’t communicate with you is because they don’t like you.
Ouch. That really stings, doesn’t it?
And I bet right now you’re feeling really angry and defensive and have stopped listening because you’re too busy thinking of all the ways you’re going to tell me off.
Okay. I’ll wait over here until you’re done.
Feel better after getting it all out?
Good.
But I hate to break it to you — everything you’ve just said doesn’t change a damn thing.
It’s the black, horrible, secret fear all of us have in our hearts, especially when things aren’t going the way we want.
And for some of us it’s the truth.
Gods, spirits and all the other divine beings are, at their core, people. Granted, they are a kind of people very different from you and me, but they still possess personalities shaped by individual preference. Divinities, like every other category of being in the cosmos, like certain things and dislike certain other things. Mythology is full of stories of what happens when divinities clash over their preferences which shows that they are not all in agreement about what is or is not likable. The great thing about polytheism is that your fate is not entirely tied to being liked by a god. Odysseus, for example, was profoundly disliked by Poseidon and yet through all the adversity he faced as a result of that Athene was right there by his side, guiding, advising and helping him in whatever ways she could. Considering the vast number of divinities that are out there, chances are pretty good that at least some of them are going to like you.
But there’s no guarantee.
Even if you go to extraordinary lengths to make yourself likable — it may not be enough.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is working a scam. Trust me, we con-men can smell a scam cooking from a mile away.
Now I’m not saying that this is definitely the case. I may well be an arrogant bastard with low morals but I would never presume to speak anything on behalf of the divinities that they have have not communicated and directed me to say.
And no one has told me that you or anyone else is universally disliked or at least regarded with indifference.
But it’s entirely possible that that’s the case and even if it’s not it’s something worth considering.
At the very least thinking along these lines proves a corrective to the presumptuous notion many have that they are somehow entitled to divine favor by dint of birth, that all the joys and blessings of life are theirs simply for the asking.
It don’t work that way.
You are owed nothing in life but death.
That is an absolutely essential concept, so let me repeat it for you: you are owed nothing in life but death.
Everything else is either a result of hard work or grace and grace is a rare and precious divine gift which we should never take for granted. In fact just because a god chooses to like you or has shown favor to you in the past does not mean that you should ever stop striving to be worthy of their favor — because they can always change their mind and revoke that blessing.
More to the point you should never stop striving because you will never be worthy of that grace. That’s why it’s grace. If you were worthy of it you’d no longer be a mortal but a divinity in your own right. Some gods are extremely generous and promiscuous in their favors — Dionysos comes immediately to mind — but that doesn’t mean that we should relax our efforts. If anything that should inspire us to try harder as an expression of boundless gratitude.
But what if the divinities don’t notice or care about you? What do you do then?
Well, then it’s time to make a tough choice.
You either decide that worship is something good and right and worth doing regardless of the personal results you receive from it — say because it’s something you enjoy doing, something that provides you with a sort of aesthetic value or else to show appreciation for the blessings the divinities have dispensed to others — or else you decide not to do it and you go off and live your life the best you can in a purely secular world. Those really are the only two options as far as I can see.
And who knows, maybe if you try hard enough, long enough, and do all the things you’re supposed to with a properly reverent attitude then maybe you’ll get the results you desire. Maybe. But your decision should not be contingent upon that expectation because you’ve got no guarantees it’ll work out like that.
One thing you shouldn’t do, however, is nothing. No good will come of sitting in front of your shrine and feeling mopey because you aren’t receiving the attention you feel you deserve. That is an indulgent and fruitless emotion, an utter waste of your time. Instead give your all without regard for the results — or walk away.
Just being a little mouthy; That feeling of delusional entitlement is similar a those because you’re a Wiccan you have “magical powers”. Maybe the Gods will be amused and give to the foolish what they want… They will come back begging his “gift” be taken away for good…
King Midas all over again.
I like to call myself a godslut: I see a god, I worship it, at least while he/she is in my vicinity. This seems to have done well by me. I don’t “belong” to any god, but I don’t want to, any more than I want to “belong” to any human. I have, however, made friends and I like that best.
That’s it exactly! I think so much of this frustration and anguish comes from trying to pigeonhole yourself into a position you don’t belong in. There are so many possible types of relationship with the divinities, with varying degrees of intensity. Yes, I have that bhakti level going with Dionysos, but I feel very differently with Hermes … and then there are gods I have no bonds to, but I appreciate them and totally crush on them even if they never reciprocate. Be yourself. Do your own thing. Don’t seek external validation and you’ll be a ton happier.
God-crushes, yeah. I currently have one on Pomba Gira and can’t wait for Her devotional this coming Friday.
Thoughtful response. I sometimes wonder that if so many people are desiring a closer relationship with the deities in which they can hear from the gods better – how is this a bad thing? Perhaps this widespread desire is fanned by the gods, in which case it should not be put down or discouraged since this would be fighting against the gods’ purposes. Perhaps more creative ways or spiritual approaches should be developed to help people connect with the deities in response to their desires.
That longing is a holy thing, no doubt about it. As long as it is not based on an expectation of results or sense of entitlement.
Honestly I am thankful I am not ‘god-bothered’. Personally I think I would go mad with constant communication, I am not mentally equipped for it. There is nothing wrong with the silence, in silence there is peace and harmony. And when the gods do choose to voice themselves it comes forth ringing and clear, unmistakable and undeniable. It is not hard to know your place and function in the world, the trick is learning the joy of it.
Besides if someone have time to bitch about the gods not paying super extra special attention to them they need to fuck off. They have the internet, wealth enough for a computer, they are probably well (or over) fed, and have better access to health care than most. They already have heaping amounts of blessings, if that is not enough then those people need to fuck off because nothing will ever please them.
“I think I would go mad with constant communication…”
In my case, making me go mad is how my Deity likes to communicate!
Seriously though, there are so many Gods and so many ways of having a relationship with Them. How can there not be some pairing that that will work and be right for a person? Maybe these people just need to wait, try harder, try more or different things, approach different Gods. I spend almost two decades as one kind of Pagan or another with very little direct response or interaction from any Deity. It didn’t keep me from learning / practicing / honoring / worshipping Them. It still felt good and right to do that.
I agree with mostly everything you’ve said here and it actually takes me back to when I used to have convoes in chats and with friends about such things as the Gods not accepting an offering and such (at least half the folks at the time did’t think they’d be turned down). Another thing that should be noted is the why behind the who, i.e. why that particular God/dess or whatever? A lot of times people don’t get a call back simple because the deity they were so into wasn’t interested and then people take this as a sign that their ‘god-phone’ is broken and whatnot. But sometimes, it’s the deities and spirits folks don’t expect that end up taking them up on their offer if they have what it takes to keep trying. Blessings.
“Gods, spirits and all the other divine beings are, at their core, people.”
Yes! And people have SO MUCH TROUBLE with this, the whole “hey, this is not an equal relationship, but it is a relationship, treat it with due consideration and expectations” thing (which speaks to “the gods just aren’t into you”). Part of me wants to blame the monotheisms and their bizarre relationship with Nobodaddy, but they’ve got that whole Imago Dei thing going on and they know better, I think. More likely the entitlement the same cultural infection that sprouts such horrible caricatures of religion as Lakewood Church. The Lakewood god isn’t even a vending machine, it’s a corporation.
With all that said, many people have *a lot* of trouble with their god-phone. Not just the ones that aren’t being spoken to… a lot of those who are (or claim to be) do too. Discernment is so important and so hard to master, especially in a culture that encourages you to second-guess any sort of spiritual experience, and as of now there aren’t any real guides to developing that skill…
Awesome post.
I … am not a fan of the ‘gods give us the love we need, in the form we need’ reasoning. Like They exhist in a vacuum where They tailor their presence to suit our comfort? If we admit that they are individuals, we are also going to have to own up to the fact they are not like everyone the same. Christianity left most of the folk with the cultural notion that all mortals should be valued and loved the same ideantical way simply and inherently because they *exhist.*
And while that’s understandable, hard polytheism just doesn’t work that way. Some gods might actively dislike you. Some might be utterly indifferent to you. Others might even love you but still consider thousand good reasons for the which it is not a good idea to interfer too much with your life in a give incarnation. And you might be desperately in love with Loki, but you still don’t get to whine like a little bitch because he doesn’t feel like giving you the ‘godspouse treatment’, even after a couple of hot dreams.
They are kinda entitled to their feelings and boundaries too.It’s realistic and respectful to at least consider that.
As even the fact that having a ‘godphone’ does not necessarily equal to having a deep connection with the divine. There’s plenty of folks with some sort of ‘hearing’ capacity thaat still manage to waste it through that famous sense of entitlement (‘oh, sorry deity X, I know I asked being help to get over this hurdle, but I really don’t feel like going over Y task now we are at the hard part. Oh wait, why are you forcing me into it? Don’t my whishes matter? Life sucks and gods are bullies!’ – or, even better- ‘why Freyr and Freya won’t talk me anymore? It must be because the Norse pantheon is evil! I can’t be in this situation because I spent months insulting Her as a whore all over the net ?’ ).
Reblogged this on Twilight and Fire and commented:
In the recent discussion of sacrifices made by those who are god-bothered, Sannion says here what most of us aren’t willing to say, but that makes it no less true.
Reblogged this on Loki's Bruid and commented:
I’m reblogging this because it’s something I don’t think I could bring myself to say personally, and I’ve had moments of mixed feelings – many, actually, over how I feel about the notion that Divine contact isn’t egalitarian.
This is very much to the point. Most posts I’ve read on this matter are…well, nicer and correct but they didn’t seem to get the point across to some. Maybe this will work.
I for one, am very glad I’m not godbothered nor do I have a godphone (well, I can discern a few nudges, but that is all). I’ve come to terms that I’m not ready in any way to commit to a relationship (or several, as some seem to want) of that magnitude. And to just half-ass it pretty much seems like a recipe for ruin one’s life?
I do see the temptation to try, but for most people it seems they kinda think of the gods as some sort of pokemón. It creeps the hell out of me.
Thank you for saying this. Entitlement to personal communication with the divine seems to be a Christian idea (which has carried over), and part of what made it such a revolutionary faith in the first place. I grew up in a charismatic environment where it was ok for people to be so godbothered they were hardly able to function in normal life. There was so much jealousy over whether or not one could communicate with the divine, see visions, etc. It’s been the primary rift between my mom and I since I was eight. I can see and hear things, and she can’t, no matter how hard she chases it.
Nobody seems to be content to be a layperson in paganism. Religion just doesn’t work where we are all visionaries and leaders and conduits of power from on high. I’m grateful that my line of communication isn’t more open. It’s often frightening or confusing, and it’s never very convenient. The demands are high, even if one’s service is quite limited, and they can easily be all-consuming. I really enjoy the times where I can worship and appreciate the gods merely as one who worships.
Reblogged this on Rock of Eye and commented:
I like this a lot, because, at times, it’s true.
You know, I think this isn’t the bigger, deeper issue. I think it’s the WANT for belief, but when an unsure Pagan meets one who is – or a practitioner that’s the real deal – it’s the inner picking, that ‘You can’t be real, because if you were, I’d do it too.’ No, not really. And because I can, doesn’t mean it is violins and choirs singing. Being so ab-normal myself, I actually envy the average Betty-Crocker Pagan, you know that?
The other reality is the watering-down of the actual interactions. Working with the Morrigan is frightening, working with the Bear-Mother is terrifying, working with Hekate can fuck your brain at it’s very core. Twisting it and turning it, and then bitch when nothing happens. Not surprisingly, not many like the Gods as much as these Gods don’t like them. But they don’t want to see it, because you’re right – they feel entitled.
It ain’t all that and a bag of cheetos, but it’s the best kind. It is, and it isn’t. Only a spirit worker understands this. Sure, you have access, but just because you have a room key doesn’t mean what’s inside that elusive and mysterious hotel room is what you expected to see. And a spirit worker has that weird mentality to take a deep breath, and open the door.
I hope that made sense.
Reblogged this on The Den and commented:
You know, I think this isn’t the bigger, deeper issue. I think it’s the WANT for belief, but when an unsure Pagan meets one who is – or a practitioner that’s the real deal – it’s the inner picking, that ‘You can’t be real, because if you were, I’d do it too.’ No, not really. And because I can, doesn’t mean it is violins and choirs singing. Being so ab-normal myself, I actually envy the average Betty-Crocker Pagan, you know that?
The other reality is the watering-down of the actual interactions. Working with the Morrigan is frightening, working with the Bear-Mother is terrifying, working with Hekate can fuck your brain at it’s very core. Twisting it and turning it, and then bitch when nothing happens. Not surprisingly, not many like the Gods as much as these Gods don’t like them. But they don’t want to see it, because you’re right – they feel entitled.
It ain’t all that and a bag of cheetos, but it’s the best kind. It is, and it isn’t. Only a spirit worker understands this. Sure, you have access, but just because you have a room key doesn’t mean what’s inside that elusive and mysterious hotel room is what you expected to see. And a spirit worker has that weird mentality to take a deep breath, and open the door.
I hope that made sense.
This is very thought provoking. It’s probably been said already, but in addition to considering why the gods might not be lavishing a “bothering” amount of attention on someone, I think people need to do some serious soul-searching about why they want to be god-bothered at all. I can’t help but think it’s because they desire attention, acceptance, to feel special, or some other kind of validation that doesn’t have much to do with the gods themselves. If it is a sincere desire for communion with the gods, there are many other ways to achieve that.
To be honest, I’m not even sure what my opinion is on the phenomenon. Some extreme examples I’ve heard have set off my bullshit meter, to put it bluntly. BUT if someone is having a genuine experience, then it really doesn’t (and shouldn’t) matter what my opinion is.
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