Today is the fourth on the lunar calendar, a day traditionally regarded as sacred to Hermes, the day I set aside each month to honor him. I had plans to do something big for him but in the end I just couldn’t muster enough energy. I am dealing with a depression so deep and so painful that right now the only way I can get through it is by not dealing with it. But depression and I are old friends and I know that’s not a long-term solution because doing nothing just makes everything worse. So even though I couldn’t manage any of the big magical things I had planned I forced myself to get up and go make an offering to Hermes. Although I don’t have the kind of close, emotional relationship with him that I do with Dionysos and Spider he has been good to me over the years, far better than I deserve in fact. So I gave him the best that I have at the moment, the remainder of my bottle of jester absinthe (which was a sacrifice in both the ancient Greek and modern sense as I really, really liked the stuff) and some incense and spontaneous praise poetry I composed on the spot under an old gnarled tree that seemed an appropriate place to honor him. As I was standing there watching the incense burn in the dark this song came on my iPod:
You always find a way to surprise us, don’t you Hermes?
Thank you.
As someone who’s always been fond of Hermes, I just want you to know I thought this was beautiful.
I struggle with anxiety, and I understand the lack of ability to function on a daily basis sometimes. I hope you feel better soon.
Oh honey. As a depressive myself, I really get how these bad episodes are debilitating as fuck. Thanks indeed to Hermes, who let you know that “you still have friends.” Even long-distance, Internet friends. :) You won’t give up either. May my voice be one with the chorus who sings that we believe. A good deep sleep for you, my dear, & the blessings of all the gods & goddesses. With love, Duffi
Sent from my iPhone
Fighting depression and anxiety is a daily, uphill battle. If it’s any consolation whatsoever, know that you are not alone. And I’m sure the Gods appreciate the difficulties you face, that all sufferers face. I’m likewise sure They recognize that dragging oneself out of bed, fighting horrible impulses to just give up and succumb to the paralyzing Void of thought, is a demonstration of great strength. It is an even greater demonstration of devotion, to fight that battle just to get to the shrine and say a little prayer and offer a little booze or water or juice and some incense.
That said, it is my sincere hope that life improves for you, that your suffering is lessened soon, and that the Gods hear and answer your prayers favorably.
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