Christians can be incredibly annoying. Knowing how to handle someone who’s trying to fulfill the Great Commission is absolutely essential in this culture. You need intelligence, confidence, a cool head and a strong sense of humor – all important Pagan Values if you ask me. To illustrate, here’s an exchange I had a while back when I worked tech support in a call center.
I’d just gotten his modem back online, and was going through the little spiel we use to wrap up phone calls. He commented on my name, asked if I knew where it came from. I said, “Yeah, the Hebrew prophet,” and he said “and author of one of the books of the Bible.” I pointed out that Lamentations was also ascribed to Jeremiah, so that made him author of at least two books – three if you counted the apocryphal Additions to Jeremiah. He said, “Oh, so you know your Bible,” and I replied, “Yup,” trying to get him off the phone so he didn’t murder my call times. Obliviously, he pushed on.
Him: Are you a Christian?
Him: Are you religious?
Me: Very. I’m a Hellenic Polytheist.
*several moments of dead air*
Him: Uhm … do you know where you’re going when you die?
Me: Yeah … Elysium.
Him: Where’s that? It sounds like something out of Superman.
Me: *laughs* Definitely not out of Superman.
Him: Where’s that?
Me: It’s where dead Greeks go.
Him: Do you know Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
Me: No. Dionysos is my savior.
Him: Who’s Dionysos? The Goddess Diana?
Me: He’s like Jesus … only much cooler. God of wine, prophecy, religious ecstacy, nature, and sex.
Him: How do you know he’s real?
Me: I feel it in my blood and bones. I talk with him almost every day. He’s realer to me than you are. Anyway, I’m on Sitel’s dime here. If you’d like to hear more about him and what I believe, I can give you my website, and you can email me from there. Otherwise, I’ve got to go.
Him: No, no. That’s okay.
And that was it.
Taken from my now defunct livejournal.